I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
