It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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