the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
