we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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