i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
