I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
