I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Small penises have feelings too.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
