I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize