i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
