this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
