Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
