It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize