very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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