Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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