You made me cry and you don't even care
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
