am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
