physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
