why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize