I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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