You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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