At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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