you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
