When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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