yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
