I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
