we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
