you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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