Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
