I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize