I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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