The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
