did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
kristin has been a bad kristin
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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