Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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