R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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