they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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