u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize