I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize