Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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