apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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