i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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