you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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