ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
