Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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