he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i already hear my dad disowning me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
