do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
