i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
