:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
