She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize