The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
