I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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