Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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