And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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