Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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