If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
