I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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