Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
