I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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